A successful relationship is always something that I find very interesting, I know what your thinking but, how does relationships fit into the equation of mindful waste. Well my friend thats exactly what this post is about, proving to be the perfect time as it fits in perfectly with my seven year anniversary with my best friend and partner in cake, Luke.
Firstly this is not a biased post as I’ve been in a relationship for the last 7 years, I’m not trying to tell you that if you don’t do these things in your relationship that it’s going to burn your house down. No, It’s about what I’ve learnt from girlfriends, all those nights of talking and crying about complex and stupid arguments, from the days of being apart to the days where we spent every second in each others company and most importantly from the other side, from my best male friends who are not afraid to honest. However there are a few things I’ve learn from being with someone for so long that can cause pollution not only to the planet but to your mental health. Brace yourself, it’s going to get real hot in here.
Honestly is truly the best policy, not only does it fund a healthy relationship but it creates this place of trust where we can achieve our own personal goals whilst being with that one person. From what I’ve seen and hear is a lot of DISHONESTY – an act of going behind ones back whether that be a girlfriend or even a friend and basically throwing the truth out the window and playing pretend for a few days instead. There’s some secrets that have even been kept for years…. This ultimately trumps any future with your loved one and also causes you to lose control over the friendships and social circles you create because a lie can only spread so far and when it snaps there might not be a lot of people around to help you back up.
– The best way to solve this is keep a complete honesty policy. Luke and I are terrible liars so just being open about the subject, no matter how hard it seems is always the best policy, it gives your mind mental space to physically move the obstacle out of the brain and give it a sense of clarity rather than manifesting into something deep and dark which over time can lead to things like anxiety paranoia.
How much time do you spend with your loved one actually being crazy, drinking until 4 in the morning then going for a swim in the back garden laughing so hard that your belly hurts? I’m not going to lie but Luke and I don’t do it as much as we used to. We prioritised our careers and goals over each others and our own happiness and thats when we realised that life wasn’t as much fun as it used to be, it wasn’t us but the way in which we spent our time. Being able to play around and just let go is such an important tool to contain in your relationship box, it creates a sense of adventure, a spark of enthusiasm and of course jells the two of you together in so many different ways.
Not only can relationships become toxic if your work-life balance becomes your actual life but you forget any sense of letting go internally and externally of yourself. You become a robot to the money or to the constant rush of a to do list. If you have your own business same applies, work hard but make room for even a little bit of play during your busy schedules. (Lastly, fun is great but obviously don’t forget that balance of both work and fun otherwise you will end up either drunk 24/7 with phenomena or broke as a twig)
I personally think I should have put this first as it’s probably the soul cause for why many relationships fail. I can’t stress how much communication fixes any tinks between two people. Most of the time when we are upset we tend to hold our emotions in until we walk out of the door, slamming it in the process and then working vigorously to push it to the back of the mind all until you can solve the case later. This ends in either two ways, texts in forms of bombs thrown back and forth until the ultimate “I can’t do this anymore” spitfire gets dealt. Or we press the ignore button and pretend that you’ve gone to a far away distance where you we can’t communicate until I would like to sort it out, like the 1900s.
Both of which are silly but yet we do them, as a human race you think we would learn from the same arguments and stupid fights but we don’t! The point is that communicating how you feel to your other half is crucial for personal, metal and physical growth in all aspects of life. If you don’t stand up to your partner when he watches the same movie for months at a time, how will you ever stand up to a boss that treats you like the chewing gum on his/her shoe (equal rights and all.) When somethings not right, TALK ABOUT IT. We’re not in that decade of swallowing our emotions and dealing with it until we can’t physically look at them anymore, just talk about it and be HONEST in how you approach the situation. You are strong enough to speak so do it!
Now I’m going to go and enjoy my anniversary – catch you on the flip side. x