Journal · Mindfullness

Self Love 

I learnt from a very young age what love was, I was deep in the mist of it all whilst all my friends were out partying with the single guys I was in that bubble.  The difference was that it was a different kind of love.  I was raised to be tough in love, to love deeply but never to the point where I had to rely on it to survive.  The life lessons you were taught as a kid really created something that you can hold onto in  any relationship as you grow older and understand more about loving yourself first then loving someone else.

Luke and I met at the early age of 15 at our local dance studio where couples seemed to be flocking around like geese at a pond. From High school to college, travelling and then to living together.  I learnt so much about Luke that I forgot who I was without him. I love him more than my own body and thats how love should be, this irresistible ache that never goes away, partly because it’s infectious and life just seems a lot brighter with them around and partly because not every realtionship works out the way they should.

  From When Luke and I started talking about careers we both knew we had different pathways, not incredibly different as they both connected with traveling and writing but majority of other aspirations seemed quite far fetched which is why we both decided as one that we will love each other conditionally but to hold onto our own lives as individuals so we can both fully submerge into what we want to do.  We are at that stage in our realtionship where we could go our separate ways if we wanted to fully emerge ourselves  but if we are willing to make it work whilst also putting 110% into our life’s goals then it’s meant to be.

I know of a few couples who stay together for the purpose of not being alone.  This to me seems like a nightmare waiting to happen because you are constantly fighting that urge, the one where you don’t actually want to be together anymore or your too comfortable that its gotten boring.  You end up  dreaming about the day you meet prince charming and he will sweep you off into this never ending instagram sunsets when in fact you wouldn’t leave them anyway and that’s all it will ever be,  a daydream. Be strong in your desires, if you aren’t happy and I mean really unhappy give yourself a break and just leave.  Life is short enough without you making it shorter for yourself by being miserable and not reaching for those goals you set yourself 5 years ago.

No man or women should love you more than you love yourself, if you find someone who loves you equally then thats a bonus but at the end of the day you come first, I work so hard to keep myself on track with my aspirations and juggling Life together. Honestly it’s tiring! But I wouldn’t have it any other way. 
  
 

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