As you may have guessed if you have read my previous posts, that I have been traveling for the last 18 months with my Boyfriend Luke. We had the time of our lives and you can see that in what I write. However Luke and I have been in a relationship for nearly five years now (self high-five) and we have done so much together that I started to forget what I wanted to do as an individual. Now this in no means is a hit on relationships because they rock but every person, deep within themselves has an urge to discover some places by themselves. Honestly not every couple wants to go to the exact same places and see the exact same things, it’s rare if you find a couple who do. This post is about how it’s ok to be In a relationship and still travel alone.
I found how important it was for me to take a two month travel/work break because I was becoming one of those women who relies on her boyfriend for everything. Example, I couldn’t even write my own cv without the help of Luke. I mean come on…..It is important for each person in every relationship to be able to figure out their own lives whilst still being in a relationship. In this day and age we are brought up to fight for our rights and go and chase our dreams, some people prefer the likes of a mortgage, marriage and children and that’s OK, there is nothing wrong with that but I personally choose to do this because I needed to find out who I was without Luke physically attached to my side.
The hardest part:
- Physically detaching…..
Being with someone for so long and then leaving them behind is the hardest part. Your brain will go in overdrive, all of the bad thoughts you have ever imagined will come into place but this is the most important part because traveling alone creates a TRUST that you wouldn’t of felt before. I know that when I left Luke I was ok because I knew that our trust levels are so high I didn’t even have to speak to him everyday…. I still did though because he has a cute voice.
So you thinking making dinner for one would be easy right? Wrong (Unless your some awesome chief). I don’t think I’ve made worse meals in my life than that first week of being apart. BUT, Because of this I learnt to get myself stuck in some recipes and cooking classes and found skills in the kitchen that I would never have discovered with someone esle. I needed that time to figure out what my tastebuds wanted instead of thinking of what can We eat tonight.
- Everyday life choices…..
This is hard. As a couple you make choices based on the others opinion too, it’s just natural especially for those people pleasers out there. Having to base your choices on you alone becomes the hardest decision. I found myself lost numerous times because I am the worst map reader in the world but I found from those numerous amounts of hours lost that I could actually do this by myself even if I had to ask for help from locals. I also had to buy lunch by myself, shop by Myself and the worst part Find my way home but in the end the impossible became possible.
- Making friends…..
The worst part for people travelling alone. It doesn’t matter where you go but every solo traveller you meet will say this is the scariest part because your alone, your actually on your own. I can honestly say that It’s scary yes, but when you hit that point of conquering fear, you will feel like you can take on the world because it’s not actually that bad.
If you’re feeling low just repeat this mantra to yourself:
I will meet incredible people and have the best time.
No matter where you go you will meet people, they might not be the best people or they might be friends for life but you will meet people so DON’T PANIC.
Being naturally curious about the creativeness of the world I found myself looking deeper into what interested me and found parts that trigger the most unlikely sources of inspiration. I found myself in emotional situations what also brought about new inspiration because I wasn’t in my usual place with my usual people. I am now coming home with bucket loads of Mood board inspiration and a brain full of ideas that I wouldn’t of discovered if I wasn’t alone.
Hope this helps with the solo travellers out there