One night in early July Luke and I had gone to a leaving party for one of our good friends, Ricky. We spent the night as you would any party getting drunk but also having a great but sad time because of our dearest friends was leaving. However during a talk with one of our friends who was about to set off on her travel adventures something clicked. We hadn’t actually thought of traveling because I was set on University and Luke had other plans for that year, we hadn’t actually considered any form of traveling until we got home and spent the whole night talking ifs and maybe about our “could be” adventures. Little did I know that, that night would change my life.
I am not the kinda girl you see out every weekend looking for the next big party nor am I that girl who sits in her room watching tv every night. I wanted to be that girl who went to school, got good results and from that went to University, studied, graduated and found a great career with a fine ass man and that was it. I wanted it so badly to be true but the universe had other plans for me. I found myself addicted, literally addicted to dancing. I used to spend every waking minute with Luke because I thought that if I didn’t he would die without me (every young girl does) and I loved school but never found myself fitting in with the people there. I found friendships but I never found myself tied to anyone remotely like me. why you ask? I had no idea then, but now I understand. I understand why I dedicated more time to dancing than I did people and why I spent majority of my time wishing I would fit in when clearly I don’t and that’s because I wasnt made to be like those 9-5 people. Clearly my plan had a different life course on which I didn’t even realise.
When we even contemplated booking our flights we found ourselves arguing over little things which honestly put me off because I am a big believer in signs from the universe and that one was not a good indication. However we mounted and got past it, for once I felt truly in control of my life. I wasn’t being taught how to make my decision or someone choosing for me which to book but I pushed the button and paid for it. To many people this may not seem like a big life changing event because it wasn’t. It’s the small concept of it that made me think about it still to this day, the fact that I could take charge of something in my life when I needed a helping hand through it all.
Then traveling was a different story. I grew and grew until I couldn’t recognize myself anymore, not physically but internally and I felt powerful in my own shoes for once in my life. I decided on everything, what I did, eat, went, loved, hated, climbed, cried, it was all just one big decision and I loved it. Traveling gives you power as a person even if you are a couple, it gives you a hand when there is just you in this scary world.
The return was the scary part for me, I found myself anxious a lot more, I couldn’t grasp that so much had changed for me in a space of closer to 2 years and that everyone who loved me back home was still pretty much the same. It’s like walking into a parallel universe with everyone just going about their business and your sat there thinking the world has gone crazy when in actual fact it is you that’s crazy. I love my life even when I feel incomplete, but the travel bug has got a grasp on me that No one can feel, it’s an indescribable feeling that you can’t fully understand until you’ve experienced it and now I have. I think I’m ready for another adventure.